Tantric sex

Q. Can one indulge in 'Tantric sex' or say moderate amounts of sex without ejaculation and yet get the effects of celibacy ?

A. 'Tantric sex' is a method of enjoyment of sexual pleasure, where the people involved follow a certain mode of life/ practices in order to enhance and prolong sexual pleasure before, during and after the sexual act. It consists of various means to achieve this objective.
    'Celibacy is abandonment of and freedom from sexual pleasure forever in thought, word and deed at all places and times.

    The above definitions make them self-explanatory. "Tantric sex" belongs to the left hand approach for self-realization called 'Vaama Marga (meaning:Vaama- Left, Marga- Path; the left hand path). 'While 'Self-realization' was the final objective of the 'Vaama Marga' also, the gross aim of tantric sex most often since time immemorial has been sense pleasure and gratification. The danger in treading this path was profound for a normal man in the age old days itself, let alone in today's times without the aid of a masterly guru proficient in the subject. Since the 'Vaama marga' involves indulgence in the sexual act, starting from the physical level and reaching higher states, the risk of a student tripping and falling into the pit of lust is very strong.

Indulgence of sense pleasures in any form results in the formation of the *desire-anger* combination. In the Bhagavad-Gita Lord Krishna describes this combo as a two sided sword which is the cause of all evil and pain on earth. He further states that they are born from the ‘Activating nature’ or ‘Rajasic temperament’. It is for this reason, celibates are asked to avoid stimulating food and company.

Sex without ejaculation for the non-celibate is definitely much better than with ejaculation, since semen is not lost during the act. Wastage of energy doesn't occur and it does make the person reach a certain stage of celibacy. However this comes with conditions. By following a life of sexual moderation without ejaculation, a man will no doubt be more of a celibate and a cut above than the man who leads a life of sexual wastage. This is not really due to re-absorption but due to lack of need for the body to produce semen. This holds good upto the point of good health, clear thinking and other general health benefits at the physical level. But beyond this, if man aspires to reach the state of 'Soul bliss' or 'God bliss', which has been described in the scriptures to be equal to a million times the pleasure of a physical orgasm (Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa called the magnitude of 'Soul bliss' to be somewhat close to having sex through the millions of pores in the human body) a life of absolute celibacy for 12 years, giving up all the sense pleasures becomes mandatory. A man indulging in any form of sexual pleasure cannot become an 'Urdhvareta'. The gates beyond general benefits will not open for him.

I will explain the rational behind this. In a moderate sex life without orgasm, while man no doubt conserves his semen during the act, he also unknowingly/gradually develops an attachment/liking and strong desire for the pleasure generated from sexual contact. Also since woman is the source of his pleasure, he begins to associate her as an object of pleasure rather than as a soul- 'The manifestation of god'. This strong karma for sexual pleasure that gets stored in his 'Karmic account' ultimately takes him to a state where he can no longer rise beyond the sex plane. Any pleasure produced by the five senses (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) is temporary and ultimately leads man into pain. It really is no pleasure at all as it is 'Maya' or an illusion, a nervous stimulation only and not 'Soul bliss'. Man has to indulge in more and more of sex to get the effect that he first got in course of time. 'The word 'moderation' is relative. The limits set by man are stretchable by his own imaginatioin. Further to getting deep into this mode of life, he will ultimately come to a stage where his vital fluid deserts him directly or indirectly. Once this happens he can no longer rise up the path of becoming an 'Urdhvareta'. Loss of semen also becomes an impediment for deep meditation, further to the 'Prana' getting unsettled.

Practicing ‘Tantric sex’ comes with the very high risk of getting addicted to the sexual act and being stuck in the sex plane which makes it inviable to transcend into higher planes, which is so necessary for spiritual progress. This approach is akin to walking a tight rope between two high rises. Even the slightest gust of wind will send one crashing down.

It is for this reason, scriptures cutting across religions require a man attempting self-realization to wholly give up pleasure generated by the senses. As long as there is sense pleasure there cannot be soul bliss. They are mutually exclusive. God gives us two options: Either to reach out to him shunning the senses and reach a state of permanent soul bliss or to fool ourselves with the senses, thinking the illusion to be pleasure, while in reality it is nothing but delusion. And finally even the man who chooses senses, realizes very late of them being cheats and has to finally get back to the first path.

Trust this helps
God bless and have a nice day :-)

Dhananjay