Dealing with negative thoughts and keeping motivation in Brahmacharya
Question
Dear Dhananjay,
First of all thank you so much for your past answer (long vow vs short vow). It was simply amazing and inspiring to think of brhamacharya as a lifestyle than to worry about long vow or short vow. It has been working great so far. I having been waking up early every morning (not at 4, but around 5-6) and have been doing pranayam, meditation and sun gazing everyday. I could not do the bandhas although they felt amazing, because they seemed to aggravate my hip pain which shows up if I do something like bandhas or lotus posture. I have been doing about 30 minutes of sungazing everyday and about 15 mins of pranayam (both morning and evening) and about 1 hour meditation two times a day (2-3 hours total).
The first 15 days was pretty amazing. I felt the bliss of the Self during meditation and felt that I wanted nothing else but constant connection with the divine Self. It was really amazing, and brhamacharya was automatic. However I had some travel commitments with a friend. I went to visit him during the weekend, and did pranayam and meditation at least once a day. However upon returning back I was a little tired, and this week I have been getting up late and sometimes missing my morning meditation and sungazing, although I make it a point to do atleast 15 minutes of pranayam. Slowly negative thoughts are creeping in. I am sure it is just a temporary phase, but I want some motivation so that I don't slip. I have been observing strict brahmacharya for the last 23 days. I have had 4-5 nocturnal emmissions so far. I have been doing the best with words and thoughts, but the last few days I have been getting some negative thoughts (when I see other couples smiling and laughing, there are some thoughts and jealousy like "They look happier than me even if they don't seem to be practising brahmacharya"). I am sure these are temporary thoughts and feelings, but just wanted your advise on how to deal with such thoughts and how to keep myself motivated to stay on the path.
I will get back to the early morning routine ASAP, so that I can firmly re-establish the connection with the divine blissful self. I do feel the bliss during practise. But somehow (especially on days after nocturnal emissions) these negative thoughts creep in. Kindly advise on how to deal with these.
thank you very much!
jai sat chit anand
Answer
1. Gradually advance the morning waking (alarm) time by 15 minutes. If the current waking time is 5.30 A.M, make it 5.15. Then wake up with force and commitment without fail. After a week, set the alarm to 5.00. After another week set it to 4.45. Ultimately, one should wake up at least by 4.00 A.M and indulge in the complete set of Yogic practices. Unbroken Brahmacharya will not be possible to the one who spends 'Brahmimuhurtham' (3.00 A.M to 5.30 A.M) in bed.
2. Bandha-s will come within reach when there is gradual, constant and prolonged effort over their performance over the course of time. They are important for unbroken Brahmacharya.
3. Our right is to the action alone and never to the fruits. We should strive for honest and sincere Brahmacharya through the course of the day with great zeal and commitment knowing it is our default, natural state. "No other state exists" - such should be the belief. Belief and genuine effort should be backed by the innocence and trustworthiness of a child. The mother scares the naughty child telling him that the bogeyman will take him away if he does not eat food and the child believes her with complete trust, innocence and wide eyed rock solid belief. One's belief in Brahmacharya and God should be like this. Then the ship called mind sails past the dangerous waters of 'Samsara'(dualistic world of suffering) and Brahmacharya gets established. This should be maintained till one attains self-realization. When efforts in the waking state are honest and as past karma gradually vacates, nocturnal emissions will slowly subside in frequency and eventually disappear with advancement.
4. Cupid between man and woman is the personification of Maya (illusion). The initial stages of entrapment in 'Maya' appear tasty, sweet and pleasurable. Only later does it's true color and nature surface. It's true nature is the exact opposite; disagreeable, foul and full of pain & sorrow. This experience awaits all those who get entrapped in the net of sense pleasures laid by Maya. Once caught, it is very difficult to escape from this net. Knowing it to be such, the wise man does not let himself get trapped. He remains extremely vigilant and negates these inducements through Viveka (wisdom of reality), lest he be tempted to fall into this net of doom as a fish gets caught in the net of the fisherman.
One should remind himself of the unreality and filth within the human body. One should picture how a beautiful member of the opposite sex will appear in old-age with rotting flesh and teeth. One should spend some time in a morgue or the autopsy room if the desires are too strong. Then the guile, cunning and falsity of Maya get exposed.
A woman is all alluring and tempting before she nets the man in her net of Maya. Only later does the foolish, helpless man who fell prey to desire and lust realize the anger, cunning, coldness and ruthlessness behind those wiles, smiles and charms of the woman. The same applies in the reverse order as regards women who foolishly get caught in the net laid by lusty men. Each become a sharp blade who bleed the other to untold agony and suffering through the workings of Maya. This world of illusion and its workings are quite different from reality. Very few are those wise men who escape from these dangerous nets of the world and its apparent charms. Hence one should forever be established in Brahmacharya and reach God.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)