Feeling depressed
Question
I started the practice of celibacy from the 10th of July this year. I was happy with my progress, but I gave in to the demon of lust yesterday (30th september) and masturbated after watching porn. Now I am feeling very low. I want to observe celibacy till I get married and don't ever want to indulge in such sinful activities, but I am shattered by what happened yesterday. Why doesn't GOD destroy lust in me once and for all. I will be starting over again, hope I never indulge in such activities ever again. Do you think the seminal loss yesterday must have reduced my aura? How long before I heal it again?
Answer
1. It is because God wants you to come out of the trap that HE has brought you into this path of the absolute truth.
2. It is one's own past Samskara-s (impressions) & Vasana-s (tendencies), the result of past deeds, which make one break the practice. Hence it is for oneself to strive and negate these through Sadhana.
Take up honest Sadhana with the required methods and persevere as needed. Things will become, as they should
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)