celibacy

Hello Bruce :-)

Trust you are doing good. Sorry for being a day late further to some commitments. Thank you for the query, let me elaborate on the core of the topic so the answer becomes clear:

Q: What should a celibate do when he gets into a state where a sense of doubt regarding chastity arises further to depriving oneself of the sex-sensation and the thought of 'I'm truly missing out on something’ creeps into the mind?

A. Why does man reach out to sensual stimulus as a source of pleasure?

On study of the great treatises concerning spirituality and a regulated and disciplined spiritual life, one slowly comes to realize that the ‘soul’ (defined as the microsm of the macrosm (god)) in its pure state is itself bliss. The word bliss here means a unipolar state beyond happiness. Happiness is bi-polar as it has the opposite –‘sadness’. Bliss is beyond polarity. This unipolar state of absolute freedom and standing is the inherent nature of the soul. The soul of every creature, be it man or animal is full of bliss, contentment and self contained. It is in a state of bliss further to itself, without requiring any external aid to propel it or contain it in this unique, lofty state. The treatises written by great masters teach us that, as soon as the soul descends into matter (further to identification with a body) by getting encased within the body, coverings of ignorance or ‘maya’ or ‘avidya’ start cocooning themselves around the soul. This results in the light and nobility of the soul getting hindered from reaching out (just as the clouds blocking the rays of the sun prevent them from reaching us). When this starts to happen, man whose basic nature is bliss (since he is actually the soul and not the body, mind intellect or ego) feels a scarcity of this bliss which he is originally accustomed to and goes in search of anything which appears to him as a source of bliss, for want of it (like a thirsty man in a desert walks for miles in the hope of reaching the mirage of an oasis, which is actually nothing but an illusion).

Sensual pleasure (derived externally through one of the five senses) is not really pleasure but only a tingling of nerves finally resulting in pain. Further to many successive births of indulgence in sensual activity as a source of pleasure, mans psyche begins to associate this nerve stimulation as the penultimate source of pleasure, for it has slowly forgotten its native state of ‘soul bliss’. Most of us are in this state. It is here that ‘Brahmacharya’ comes as the ship for man to cross this ocean of delusion and reach the shore of ‘true soul bliss’. By constant, persistent and honest practice of celibacy, man can slowly unwind and disentangle himself from this cocoon of ‘maya’ or delusion that he finds himself trapped himself in. Further to self-realization (total lack of bodily identification and acceptance that he is the soul) he gets into a state content in the self by the self. He requires no friends, parties, talk or anything else external for contentment, for he has realized the fallacy, temporary and hypocritical nature of everything external and the glory of his inner self and god.

When a man first starts on the path of celibacy, it is but natural that this percentage of ‘delusion’ is very high within him as compared to the percentage of soul bliss which is very minimal or almost non-existent. At this stage doubts sometimes do come as to the ‘worth’ of a celibate mode of life, which involves discipline and giving up of sensuality, for his psyche has long associated ‘delusive pleasures’ as agreeable. At such times, a firm and steady approach is required to tide them over and continue on the chosen path. What does a sprinter aiming to win the Olympics do? He sets aside all work, all merry, all junk food, all forms of distractions and focuses his heart and soul into the tough, hard and disciplined practice of preparing his mind and body for the final day. It is the same with celibacy which requires very consistent and honest efforts that are very Herculean at the start but with time, honesty and gods grace the sailing becomes more and more smooth.

All celibates have to go through the stage that you have mentioned initially. But with time, honest efforts and further to god’s grace, things became easier. After around a year of honest celibacy (without breaks) the celibate reaches the next stage, wherein he cherishes and desires to be constantly in a state of unbroken celibacy, enjoying the new found bliss that has started to trickle. At this stage you don’t ‘miss’ the old times but shudder at the thought of ever going back to that old state of delusion. When lustful thoughts do occasionally enter the mind, the celibate experiences pain, revulsion and guilt. All your energies focus at driving away these thoughts. The only thing you want is to be free of them and back to your state of ‘celibacy’ in thought, word and deed.

Trust this helps
God bless and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay