What to do after a falldown
Question
Namaste Dhananjay,
I pray that you will be able to help me with my struggle.
I have been endeavouring to be celibate for almost 4 years. I started back in October 2007 and immediately went from masturbating almost everyday to never masturbating.
While I have not lost vital fluid using my hands since 2007, I have involuntarily (without hands) when looking at pictures and watching videos of sexually agitating activities. Unfortunately, I saw a sexual image tonight and lost quite a lot of fluid. I am rather concerned because I have been a little ill lately with a cold.
I have a number of questions.
1. What's the best thing to do straight after a falldown?
2. Should a young man, like myself, of 20 years age, who very infrequently loses vital fluid (no more than about a dozen times per year), be worried about a conscious loss like this?
3. Right now my mood is okay and I don't feel too weak. Is this perhaps a good sign? Is it possible that because I have been practicing brahmacarya quite diligently that I have built up a 'store' of energy that cannot be depleted so easily?
4. Are you familiar with ashwagandha for rejuvenation of vital fluids? Does it work well?
5. Is there anything in particular you would suggest I do?
I immediately took a bath after this loss and tonight I am going to chant all evening and not take any food. I am not freaking out right now and am trying to take a calm approach to this matter, but I sincerely hope I have not significantly damaged myself.
I think the main cause was that I became disillusioned with brahmacarya and thought that it had no merits; it was as if my mind was tricking/deluding me.
Answer
Namasthe Tom,
Trust this finds you good. Coming to the matter on hand,
1. The best course of action further to a downfall is to analyze and realize what caused the downfall and never ever repeat the mistake. This is very important for further progress. Unless one learns from his mistakes and prevents their recurrence, growth and progress cannot occur. A Brahmachari should get clear regarding the source of his downfall and take a vow never to repeat it followed by continuance of his life of Brahmacharya with God-meditation.
2. A voluntary loss always sets back the aspirant to square one in terms of spiritual progress. One has to start all over again to reach the level of 'Prana' or vital energy that one had previously achieved. Since loss of Prana results in spiritual reversal to that extent, one has to again spend that many months/years of absolute Brahmacharya to reclaim the spiritual level that had been attained. The age of an aspirant only decides loss at the physical level. When we say we are 20 years old, it means this body is 20 years old and not our soul. Our age only represents the age of the physical body and not that of the soul. Loss of semen in the early 20's may be slightly less debilitating to the body than in the 30's or 40's. But how will an aspirant offset the astral and evolutionary degeneration that occurs to the 'Jivaatma' or the individual soul further to a voluntary slip? There is no other way but to start again. The soul is ancient, timeless and eternal. The spiritual evolution one has attained is a result of innumerable previous births. Each and every voluntary break in Brahmacharya results in a break in this spiritual evolution. Hence one should always strive to never let a break occur; be it voluntary or involuntary.
3. The degree of depression further to a slip varies from person to person based on the age, physical condition, spiritual level and mental tendencies of the person. It is best not to ponder too much regarding the slip itself and instead concentrate on preventing the recurrence of factors that lead to the slip. Energy built up over many 'years' can vanish within no time if the aspirant is careless. One should practice Brahmacharya in totality and at all places and times if one wishes to stay clear of downfall.
4. All medicinal herbs, concoctions, special foods and supplements for revitalization of seminal energy are incomplete and temporary forms to resubstitute seminal loss. Semen once lost is lost forever. It is the most precious of all body fluids and the nectar of nectars. No amount of external supplements or food forms can replace and re-compensate the loss of semen. Hence the Brahmachari should forever persevere to conserve and transmute his vital seed.
The supreme bliss, power, God-realization and strength that one accrues from a life of Brahmacharya is incomparable and unmatched by any other mode of life. Brahmacharya is the most supreme and lofty of all states that a human being can ever rest in. A life of seminal wastage is really no life at all. It is an existence in which a person degrades, degenerates and decays with every passing day and pushes himself into the depths of sorrow and pain. Strive for honest and sincere celibacy with regular physical exercise, mental work and constant God-meditation asking the Lord to grant you strength to achieve spotless celibacy.
You have been striving for Brahmacharya from the past couple of years. You have an innate urge and desire to get established in Brahmacharya. You are amongst the chosen few who has been let by God to try the divine act of Brahmacharya. There are billions of people across the world. But only a minuscule minority among the billions are hand picked by God to even try out this divine mode of life. Based on their past karma and tendencies, only a few hundreds from this minority will be chosen by God to accomplish a certain period of Brahmacharya and only a countable number of people from these hundreds will succeed in life long, unbroken celibacy and attain the final goal. Shouldn't we show our gratitude to the great Lord by persevering and striving for true celibacy? Isn't being honest and true to Brahmacharya the least we can do for the grace God has shown on us? Won't we be letting him down and failing him if we succumb to lust? Let us give our best and persevere till the end to maintain spotless celibacy. This is the least we can do.
If our devotion, efforts and yearning to achieve Brahmacharya are honest and true, God undoubtedly extends his helping hand and helps us achieve success. Nothing can be achieved without the grace and help of God. At the same time, there is nothing beyond the realm of a man who puts in sincere efforts and devotion at the accomplishment of this ideal with deep love for God.
May God bless you and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay