Guidance for the young

QUESTION: I have a son who is aged about 10.5yrs.
What do you think is the right approach to guide him with respect to impending sexuality, teen age and induct him into brahmacharya practice, etc, etc? Appreciate if you can also give good suggestions for  any good literature, "must-read" books, etc...

ANSWER: Hello Chandra,

Good to know of your intentions as regards your son.

If you happen to be a Brahmin by birth, the son of a Brahmin should be invested with the sacred thread or 'Yagnopaveetham' through the ceremony called 'Upanayanam' between his 8th-9th year. This ceremony marks the induction of the child into a life of Brahmacharya for the study of Brahma vidya (The real knowledge to be gained and the purpose for which the human birth has been accorded). As per the Hindu Dharma, a Brahmin child should be put on the path of Brahmacharya (contemplation of the Brahman) by the age of 9 so as to help him receive puberty with a spiritual perspective by age 13 or 14.

Who is the real Brahmin? One who is constantly persevering to realize the Brahman (Almighty Lord) by acquiring Âtma Gnyâna through a life of Brahmacharya, study of scriptures, meditation on what he has studied in the scriptures and a life governed by the Yama-Niyamas is alone a Brahmin and not one who may be born to Brahmin parents but spends his time in contemplation of money or other sense pleasures.

Similarly who is a Shudra? Any man whose mind and activities revolve around the enjoyment of sense pleasures, who constantly perseveres to enjoy the external pleasures of sexuality and who cannot be content and happy without such sense stimulation and the apparent intoxication of money fits into the class of a shudra. The body is the chief form of trade here. Everything is done through the body, for the body and by the body in such a man. He considers himself as the body and nothing more. This is termed as 'Dehâtma Buddhi' or thinking 'My body itself is the soul or the real me'. The mental faculties for achieving the higher realms of knowledge and Godliness are absent or dormant.

A man who may be born to Brahmin parents and yet leads the above class of life is a Shudra.
A man who may be born to Shudra parents and yet leads a life constantly in the thought of Brahman, persevering to realize him is a Brahmin. Sage Valmiki is an example.

As per the scriptures, a child when born even to a Brahmin remains a shudra (one who is attached to the senses) till his 'Upanayanam'. Why is this? The soul might have been leading the life of a Shudra (in action and not birth) in its previous birth. It might have been devoted to such a life of sense pleasures in its previous incarnation. By some good merit, it has now been born to Brahmin parents. The ceremony 'Upanayanam' means 'Opening of the additional eye' (Upa-additional, nayanam- eye). It represents the induction of the child into a mode of life that will help it open its third eye (In between the eyebrows where the three Nâdis-Ida, Pingala and Sushumna meet). The ceremony is the initiation of the child into a new lifestyle that will help it raise above the senses and get Brahma vidya by making use of the third eye further to its opening.

What is this third eye? It is nothing but the eye physically represented at the place between the eyebrows by which the most subtle, most divine nature of the Âtman is realized. It is also called as 'Thrikuti'. Things that are seen through the Thrikuti are seen on the mental screen that appears when one closes the eyes and meditates at the region between the eyebrows. This screen remains blank and dark in the Shudra (one attached to the senses). In the Brahmin or Yogi striving for self-realization, this screen lights up with different colored lights after a few months/years of practice during meditation and eventually reveals all knowledge of the Parabrahman (Almighty). Âtma Gnyâna cannot be obtained through the external sense of sight, sound taste, smell or touch. It can only be perceived through the third eye. For this reason, the Yogi curtails a life of senses, makes the mind one pointed and directs it to the Thrikuti through meditation on the supreme. This eye is the subtle and divine eye through which the Yogi becomes able to see everything that pertains to creation and foresee things that might happen in the future. The sight obtained through this eye is hence called 'Divya Dristi' in Sanskrit.

After performing the thread ceremony, the father of the child should now direct it in the path of acquiring Brahma Vidya. The practice of 'Sandhya' through Gayathri Mantra is intended at this purpose. But the practice of Sandhya in the correct form involves the chanting of many pages of mantras and is ritualistic. The correct form of Prânayâma is never performed by those performing Sandhya in the present day. They mechanically flip through the process without understanding the significance of proper Prânayâma after Âchamana. Hence it would be a better and a more efficient idea to make the child follow a life of Yoga which is the most direct and efficient means to attain Brahma Vidya.

I will outline the procedure of lifestyle that is to be followed after performing the 'Upanayanam' which assures excellent success in natural Brahmacharya and the attainment of a high spiritual, moral and intellectual character that eventually leads to establishment in Brahma Vidya.

1. The child should be made to rise every day at least by 5.00 A.M and immediately have a bath. The father should teach the child the 'Gayathri mantra' and make the child give three 'Arghyams' (oblations of water) to the Lord Sun by chanting the mantra.

2. The child should then bow to the Parabrahman (Almighty Lord) either mentally with devotion or through prostrating to the Family-God and make a mental request asking the Lord to ward away all ignorance and help establish oneself in vidya or true knowledge of the soul.

3. This should be followed by the practice of 'Shirsana' or head stand to initiate flow of Pranic energy from the base of the body to the head through the spine.

4. Next to be performed is 'Tribandha' (Mula, Uddiyana and Jaalandhara Bandhas). This is of much importance.

5. Next is 'Nadi Shodhana' (Refer previous posts on Yoga, Prânayâma and Brahmacharya for the method)

6. Next is Prânayâma (very important) which is to be gradually increased in duration over a period of many months (Refer earlier posts again).

7. Finally  the child should be made to meditate on the formless and attribute-less Lord (preferable) or else on any other God with form such as Lord Krishna, Rama, Vishnu, Venkateshwara or Shiva without thinking of anything else for about 10 minutes. During this meditation, one should constantly remind oneself that the Lord is all-pervading and omnipresent everywhere and that this entire world including oneself is Brahman ("Sarvam Khalvidam Brahman")

This procedure is to be repeated anytime between 5.00-6.30 P.M (before sunset) in the evening. This is the gist of 'Sandhya' but without the ritualistic and mantric approach. This mode of lifestyle if carried out rightly, will establish one in Brahmacharya and ward away all base and unwanted thoughts thus enabling contemplation on Brahman. It should be followed regularly and without fail.

The parents of the child should always create a spiritual and holistic atmosphere in the house through talks on the Bhagavad-Gita, Upanishads, Âtma Vichâra (discussions about life, soul and God) and constantly remind oneself and the child about the unreal and false nature of the external world/senses and the truth behind God. A child should be made to understand right from its younger days that the aim of life is not to earn money, wealth or enjoy sensual pleasures but to gain knowledge of the self. A career, job, salary and monetary growth are only incidental and the means to sustain oneself with food, clothing and shelter. These are not the aims of life. These should be made use of to help sustain oneself in the quest for Brahma Gnyana. Based on one's past karma and divine will, God always shows a path for each and every creature on earth to earn enough for sustenance. This path is called 'Dharma'. One man might become a doctor, another an engineer and a third an accountant. These are all different 'Dharmas' and nothing more. They are only the paths of sustenance shown by the Lord. One should not make the error of thinking these paths themselves to be life. Immaterial of one's path in 'Dharma', a man riveted to a life of Yoga is always assured of liberation. Which is why Lord Krishna tells in the Gita: "Naasthi Yogaath Param Balam" - "There is no strength higher than that of Yoga"

Just before the child attains to puberty, the father should take the child into confidence and instruct the child on the functioning of the sexual mechanism in the body and the method of working of Brahmacharya through transmutation. The importance of physical exercise, sports or Yogic asanas must be emphasized. The child should be very clearly made to understand that the purpose of the sexual act is procreation and not recreation. This is very important. If the correct and right perspective to the purpose behind sexuality is ingrained into the child at puberty, the child will not wander behind wrong associations/friends trying to get an idea of what sexuality and the physical changes in him are all about. He has been rightly instructed by his parents (whom he trusts) at home about the purpose behind the occurance of puberty and hence is assured of the facts that govern it. The life of Yoga that he has been following for the past four to five years (from age 9 to age 14) with Prânayâma, God-meditation and constant discussions between the parents regarding God, soul and the purpose of life give him an inclination for the natural and effortless practice of Brahmacharya. These years of Yogic practice will have automatically channelized his energy upwards and the tendency for downward flow reduces greatly. He will shine well in his studies, be of a good moral character, affectionate and lovable with his parents and siblings and will have a strong yearning to acquire Âtma Gnyâna. The practice of Brahmacharya will make him shine like a star in whatever field he chooses and establish him in true happiness and well-being.

The Bhagavad-Gita and stories containing morals from the Mahabharata make for good reads. It is a good idea to read and discuss these stories and the meaning of the Bhagavad-Gita with family members to produce spiritual and Godly vibrations at home.

         ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)

[an error occurred while processing this directive]---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks a lot for the detailed reply!
I have performed his thread ceremony recently in the 11 th year finally, as there are some objections and obstacles created when I wanted to do that in 7-8 th year itself.These objections also are mental blocks created in people's mind due to ignorance and wrong feeding into their minds, about which I am not discussing now anyway...
But I am finding it very difficult to get someone instruct him (and me also ) in the correct way of doing sandhya etc.
So actually in my experience, I feel that combining yoga and reading good literature like Ramayana to be more effective than doing a ritual blindly, without understanding and without putting the heart and mind into it.
But still we have the emotional attachment towards the tradition and the ritual, which I can't leave, so just struggling to understand the full essence of it, find someone who can teach me correctly along with meaning of each and every step, and how to adapt it to different situations in the current modern life, etc....Its like understanding step by step and making it better day by day.....
In this context I would like to ask you another question:
1) In the current modern lifestyle, in which we are locked, we may not be able to follow all the traditions as listed by our traditional culture(for eg: a brahmachari should carry a staff, should walk barefeet, or with wooden sandals,put on a shikha, etc, for eg ref this link:http://www.kamakoti.org/hindudharma/part17/chap4.html), how do I ensure that I adapt the essence of all these rules,which I guess are for our protection only, and see that the energy or mind is not lost or there is no downfall, but there is some sure and steady progress, however small it may be, and also which is compatible with our current lifestyle, mired in school, career like things, which may be the prarabdha we may be working out now....