Marraige and children
Question
I was reading your answer to someone's question about how should a man deal with a partner's desire for an offspring and you said ,"When the birth of offspring is destined, it occurs by HIS grace. HE controls and not us".
Now my questions are ...
1)...whether the desire itself is part of Maya(and should be ignored if you are on the path of self-realization) or something that shouldn't be ignored?
2) Also, I understand that these desires might arise due to some karma or way of thinking, but is giving birth that important for a woman?
I'm a female and while I do think I can get carried away by these desires, I don't really like hearing from people that it's part of "Dharma".
Answer
1. The world and this birth are itself Maya. However, there are certain urges which are deemed valid, the desire to make a family being one. While there is no harm in aspiring for marriage and a family, what is important is not to get attached to either.
One should remain neutral and accept what happens as the will of the Lord. If marriage and offspring are in destiny, they occur. Lawful relationship with one's spouse, within marriage does not come in the way of Brahmacharya.
2. Marriage or producing offspring are not in any way mandatory for attaining to the self, for that is an internal process, while these are external. Those Sadhaka-s who wish marriage experience it if destined and continue in the path of self-realization as 'Grihasta-s' (householders). However, marriage or lack of it do not have any bearing.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)