Slipping
Question
QUESTION: Hello Dhananjay
If a person has observed celibacy for a certain period of time and then slips(either voluntarily or involuntarily), does all the benefits/achievements he had accrued earlier lost and he reaches the level of a "normal" sinner?. I guess you got what I am asking and all its various implications...Does all his past achievements or austerities doesn't have any value or use?
ANSWER: Hello Chandrasekhar,
Hope this finds you fine by the grace of God. Coming to your query,
Q: Does a Brahmachari get back to square one further to a slip? What are the actual implications in reality?
A: A slip, be it voluntary or involuntary could be compared to taking two steps forward and one step backward. In other words, it is like effectively going back one step. Why not two steps backward? Because, In both cases an important 'lesson' is learnt by the aspirant.
A voluntary slip causes much more devastation and suffering than an involuntary slip. The pain and depression that follow are greater in magnitude as the involvement was at a deeper level and under the action of one's own will to a greater degree.
A voluntary or an involuntary slip (wet dream) are indications of some form of a deficiency as regards to one's efforts in the path of Brahmacharya. Most often, these slips are by themselves 'tutorials' enacted by destiny (The Lord's will) to make the celibate realize an eternal truth he has been oblivious to. They are pointers which occur in the path of Brahmacharya to make the aspirant open his eyes to reality by waking him up from the delusive sleep under whose influence he has wrongfully assumed certain falsities to be realities. Thus we may infer that each and every fall/failure that occurs in the path of Brahmacharya (and life also) is a divine occurance enforced by God to make us see the truth for what it is and to give up the path of delusion which we have erringly assumed as truth.
We can bring clarity to this concept from the following example. Let us assume that there is a man 'X' pursuing the path of Brahmacharya. This man with much effort has given up sex, masturbation, pornography and other physical forms of sexual activity. He has succeeded to a large extent in keeping sexual thoughts from flowering in his mind by nipping them at the bud when they start showing their faces. His aim is to become a spotless celibate even free from wet dreams. Further to his desire, urge and efforts to reach such a state of purity, he has not had wet dreams from the past few months. He now finds the benefits of Brahmacharya trickling in. He finds more energy at his disposal. He finds his memory and concentration getting sharper. He finds that the confidence, power and ability to get work done and excel in his line of activity have increased quite notably...
Now Mr. X has derived all these benefits due to his persistent efforts and the grace of God. He has to a large degree, also succeeded in giving up sexual fantasy, erotic imagination and looking at the opposite sex with lustful eyes. What happens next? Mr. X becomes a little overconfident. He starts assuming and telling himself that he has conquered passion and has become an 'Urdhvaretha'! He starts believing that he is immune to lust and has reached a supreme state of purity. Now suddenly, a small change occurs in Mr. X's attitude and approach. As with most cases, Mr. X occasionally starts taking the liberty of looking over members of the opposite sex telling himself - " I have now reached a state of purity and looking at the 'beauty' of a lady cannot harm me". He starts occasionally viewing beautiful women when he is out in public places. Next he tells himself that just a 'few seconds' of willful fantasy and 'enjoyment' at the sight of attractive women will do him no harm as "He has reached the state of high purity" and will not get upset in his state of Brahmacharya. This train of thought leads him to 'enjoy' the sight of attractive women every now and then though he continues to abstain from physical sex, masturbation and pornography.
What happens next? A few days/weeks later Mr. X will experience an erotic dream in his sleep that culminates in a massive 'wet dream'. It drains him of his vital energy and leaves him depressed, drained and direction-less. He is suddenly left high and dry and stunned on as to why such a loss of semen occurred in spite of his strict abhorrence from sexual activity. Suddenly he finds that all the self-confidence, energy and ability he had developed over the past few months has gone down the drain.
The involuntary fall in form of the wet dream becomes a humbling experience for Mr.X. He suddenly wakes up to the gross reality that he is nowhere even 'close' to the 'absolute' state of purity he had imagined himself to be. He realizes that he was quite foolish in even daring to assume his self-proclaimed state of divinity. The pain and depression he went through further to the wet dream scare him of further downfall and he quickly mends his ways by giving up all forms of 'women watching' that lead to mental and amorous fantasy. He becomes high on humility realizing that his own power and strength will leave him in a trice if his efforts at celibacy become lax and casual. He has learnt one important lesson in the path of Brahmacharya!
What do we learn from the above example? We learn that the 'slip' which Mr. X experienced was in reality a masterful stroke of the Lord Almighty intended to make 'X' realize the falsity of his superiority complex and misplaced over confidence. Thus the 'slip' was in fact a blessing in disguise that actually made Mr. X mend his ways and get closer to reality. The pain he experienced further to the slip has left a strong mark in his mind which will prevent him from reverting to his earlier mode of thinking. The 'slip' has become a learning experience that will help him take one irreversible step forward in the path of progress.
The Great Lord ensures that as many such 'slips' as are required to 'correct' the aspirant's 'wrongs' occur in the path of the celibate when his quest for absolute Brahmacharya starts. The aim and intention behind these slips is not to harm/hurt or cause failure to the aspirant but to ensure that he gets closer and closer to perfection by the realization of his mistakes. These slips are the 'invisible' hands through which God corrects our shortcomings and makes us get established in higher and higher states of purity. Till each and every train of thought and action that is unreal and erroneous exists within us, we may continue to experience failure and downfall. The degree and intensity of these 'falls' will depend on the 'extent' of deviation from the correct path.
What a great and genius teacher the Lord is! In spite of being invisible to the naked eye and In spite of being Incomprehensible he is mighty and efficient enough to cleanse us of our mistakes and help us learn the truth in a manner in which we shall never again repeat the crime! The 'right' path one must take in life is professed by books of divinity such as the 'Bhagavad-Gita', 'The Bible' or the 'Quraan'. All these books profess the one and same thing finally. Their means may be different, but the ends are the same. They are all like the million 'Radii' that can be drawn within a circle. Each radii comes from a different direction and from a different point on the circumference; But all the radii have nowhere else to go but meet at the center of the circle. Just as there is one and only one center that a circle has, there is one and only one single, all powerful entity that rules the world called 'God-Almighty'. Everything is encompassed within the Supreme Lord and nothing and nobody can function independent of him. Whether someone believes in this absolute truth or doesn't makes no difference. That which the Lord has decided will happen whether we want it or don't. Smart and sensible people learn this divine way of God's functioning quite early and walk on the 'right' path. The less sensible ones immersed in their own 'ignorance, arrogance and untruth' prefer to take the hard way of learning these eternal truths of life through pain and suffering. Why not take the easier path of 'virtue, purity and Godliness' to a happy life and after-life instead of the longer, tougher and painful path of 'sense pleasures' to learn these eternal truths from suffering and finally revert to the same divine path after learning things the hard way?
So the answer to the query would be that the 'slips' encountered by an aspirant are the 'learning instances' that occur in his path... Does all his past progress and austerities/efforts have no value? Even if they don't have value in the context of unbroken celibacy which, Yes he has to start all over again, they do have value in terms of teaching him priceless lessons regarding the falsities of sense pleasures and the absolute divinity, permanence and truth of the Supreme concept called the 'Almighty Lord'
God bless and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay
[an error occurred while processing this directive]---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Dhanajay
Thanks for the detailed reply.. It clarifies the main point,but still I have 2 more questions which will cover a different area.
1)A break/slip would push back one into the delusion in terms of God realization and purity, and a person will be feeling the depression.... but in terms of the lesser things, like, some thing he must have achieved during his celibate state, namely, some kind of physical/mental/intellectual skills or achievements...what happens to them? Do they also go waste and he becomes a dummy in those areas also and has to start all over again ?
2)What happens if he wants to break his celibacy for an absolutely "dharmic" duty, ie, for some thing like having children with his wife.
Answer
Hello there, summarizing you queries,
Q1; What happens to the physical/mental/intellectual skills acquired further to a slip?
A: The answer previously given applies to all repercussions in totality. It is two steps forward and one step backward. There is a temporary setback and decrease in the physical, mental and intellectual level of the aspirant. While these setbacks are not serious enough to push him back to square one, they still set him back of his previous mark to the applicable extent. However the lessons learnt and pain experienced take the aspirant that much closer to reality. But he also has to repeat that many days/months or years of Brahmacharya to revert to his earlier 'level' and 'feel'. It is like an athlete sprinter who has lost the race further to wrong food and wrong practice techniques. He has now learnt where he made mistakes. But mere learning of his mistakes doesn't help him win a medal. He still has to apply his newfound knowledge and participate in the race once again the coming year and win the medal.
Q2: Is the celibate allowed to break his vow of celibacy for producing offspring?
A: The purpose of the sexual act is procreation and not recreation. When carried out with the sole objective of producing offspring with the legally wedded wife, the sexual act becomes a deed of divinity and holiness. Under such circumstances, a celibate is allowed to visit the wife and indulge in the act 'Once' per wanted child (at the time of her monthly fertile period). Again, he indulges in the act to produce a wanted child and not to enjoy sensual pleasure. Also, the energy he loses further to expenditure of semen for fathering a child will be minimal considering he has already put in many years of practice in the domain of virtue. Such an expenditure of semen doesn't wreck him physically/mentally and emotionally like a voluntary slip would.
In spite of the act carried out under such circumstances being holy and justifiable, loss of semen is loss of semen in terms of unbroken celibacy. It is like money kept in a bank account. Even if one were to spend the money on a constructive and valid purpose, there will still be a corresponding reduction in the total sum of money in the account. The expenditure being valid and constructive doesn't mean there won't be a reduction in the final bank balance. It only means that money has been used efficiently and rightly.
For this reason, celibates wishing to practice unbroken celibacy start such practice after they are done with fathering children so they can concentrate fully on their spiritual life and enrich it with absolute and unbroken celibacy. Till such a time, they are allowed the 'break' if it is with the legally wedded wife and if it is carried out 'once' per wanted child till conception occurs. The sperm concentration and virility of a Brahmachari who has put in long durations of Brahmacharya is generally potent enough to ensure conception with a single act of copulation if God wills for the couple to have a child and if carried out during the wife's monthly fertile period. This doesn't in anyway mean that a man can lead a licentious life till fathering a child. Celibacy is a mode of life that is to be carried out at all times and places, immaterial of one's marital status if one wishes for the superlative results that Brahmacharya bestows. It only means that one can devote oneself wholly and completely to 'unbroken' Brahmacharya as soon as he is done with fathering a child or two.
God bless and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay