Fight against attraction

The sexual urge within oneself is the strongest and most potent force created by the Almighty in order to ensure the continuation of Samsara (the dualistic world). Desire and the craving for sensual enjoyment is the means by which this finite and unreal world finds itself moving. This is an urge that is ingrained into the Jivatma (embodied soul) further to millions of past births in the human and animal form rife on sexual activity. Hence it takes much time and effort to overcome this affliction to unreality and is completely possible only further to self-realization. For the aspiring Brahmachari, it is a fight that is to be waged every minute and every day, till he reaches the supreme goal. Ultimately, success comes through the grace of God but only further to complete and expanded efforts from one's side.

It is to combat these forces that threaten to take one down and away from Brahmacharya/purity, that a life of Yoga is intended at. It is not the woman who is responsible for the weakness and vulnerability that a man feels but the ignorance within one's own self. We alone are responsible for our state of body and mind. As long as there is a strong undercurrent of the urge towards sexual need from a woman, it is a pointer to us that we should maintain and persevere in performing those acts which work at unwinding these layers of ignorance around our Atman (pure soul) which has become the Jivatma (embodied and debilitated soul). These efforts must be continuous and regular without a break. Then, gradually, these layers start to dissolve over a period of many years of unbroken Brahmacharya carried out with God devotion and meditation.

Even then, one will not be fully able to overcome the tendency to cent percent. The Yogi goes into a state where he is able to control and stay clear from the effects of Maya. For complete victory and freedom from attraction itself, contact with the Supreme through self-realization is the only solution. Then, the Jivatma having realized the falsity of the senses, further to having established itself in its true state of perfection goes to the state beyond susceptibility to Maya (cosmic illusion). So one should never give up till the final state of realization is achieved. Lord Krishna instructs Arjuna of this very fact in the Bhagavad-Gita:

" The objects of senses but not their relish turn away from the abstemious man.
Even the relish turneth away, after one has realized the Supreme" -- Bhagavad Gita, Chap II/59

There is no performance of Himsa (violence) by a Brahmachari who reminds himself of the falsity in the ego of a woman such as her selfish nature, cunning, manipulative tendency, anger etc.. Neither is it wrong to constantly remind oneself of the filthy and disagreeable nature of the human body in a woman. These are facts of a gross nature that one should remind oneself of when assailed by lust. The thought of how the body of a young beautiful woman transforms itself into its real state represented by decay and rotting as it ages is another fact that is to always be remembered. If a young beautiful woman is found to be a source of distraction and weakness as regards Brahmacharya, let it be imagined as to how the same girl will look in her old age with wrinkled skin, dried flesh, decaying teeth, scant white hair and a shrunken frame emanating disagreeable smell. Place the mental image of an old and physically unattractive woman on the younger woman. Where is the least attraction in such a person? Direct the lust within the mind on such an old and decaying body. The mind withdraws in revulsion. It shuns the thought in horror. This is exactly what the young woman you are seeing through your eyes is all about. Behind the covering of skin, is repulsive blood, flesh, urine and stool of a disgusting nature. Remind the mind that the reality behind the unreal illusion of the skin will be seen eventually in the very same girl after she bears a child and more when she starts getting old. The sense of beauty is all unreal and Maya (illusion). It is the Almighty who is most beautiful and full of sweetness and real allure. This sweetness and bliss of the Almighty can be tasted while deeply meditating on him. Do not mistake his Maya to be the real thing. Keep the mind alert and always in contemplation of this fact when you see or think of a woman.

This does not mean that men should hate women. Hate and love are dualities that are again false and non-existent. One should rise above hate or love and get anchored to the reality of the Almighty. Then true love blossoms. A man within the bounds of sexuality cannot understand what true love is. To him, love is always associated with sexuality, while in reality, true love and sexuality are unconnected! When a man is asked to develop revulsion at the aspects governing a woman, it is meant that he develop awareness of the reality behind the unreal and false nature of the so called attraction to the body in the sexual perspective. It does not mean that he should hate or look down at women. It only means that for the time being, as long as he has not reached the final state, he should be indifferent to women and avoid their thought or company, for he is not able enough to realize the falsity of what he is seeing in his current state of mind but is mistaking filth for paradise. He is not in the state where he can see the Atman within a woman. He can only see the body and its false charms.

In the one sense, this body is a beautiful mechanism of life devised by God. But for the Brahmachari who is trying to establish himself in reality, it should only be a bag of refuse. Why? Because he currently has a distorted and wrong impression of what it is and what it is not. His perspective is wrong and not real. He is under the action of Maya and not in his senses. In order to acquire the real knowledge regarding what it is or what it is not, he will have to temporarily see it in this perspective. After attaining to perfection through self-realization, he will realize it was totally unreal and an illusion and is least bothered or affected. But for now, this approach is very necessary. He does not commit any Himsa through this approach. After reaching advanced states of consciousness, true Ahimsa (non-violence) will dawn by itself even without his efforts.

Lead a life of Yoga through Bandha, Pranayama and meditation on the Almighty. Wake up by 4.00 A.M and strive hard. Keep the mind away from sensual sources. The practice of Pranayama is very important if the mind is to be brought under control and made aware of true reality. With constant efforts, things become easier and Brahmacharya becomes more within ones reach. Thoughts of distractions and weakness will reduce and make one more firmly anchored to reality. Go through some of the recent past answers regarding the method of Yogic practice and apply it practically. Pray to God for the strength and ability to overcome Maya and gain the real knowledge of the Atman. Success will slowly dawn and blossom. One should be very firm and determined and never get cowed down by failure. This is real manliness and real strength.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)